You might have noticed I started posting again, after quite a while. It’s been four months since my post about my new years’ resolutions, and I have been a mess. 2019 is not treating me very well so far.
Everything you can imagine, went wrong. School, my relationship, work, my internship… I even lost a few of my friends and some of my family. I felt like I lost everything.
So, I took a break. I finally stepped back. I quit my work, and my internship. I’m no longer stressing over school, I’ve decided to accept that I gave everything I could give and I should focus on my health now. I accepted that I will have to do this year over. Letting go of the voices saying: ‘You’re not good enough. You’re not capable.’
It’s time to focus on ME. 2019 is my year. With the friends that still support me, I am growing stronger and wiser. I am getting my life back one step at a time. I will live the life I’ve always wanted, even though I am very unsure of the things I want right now.
I quote myself:
- I will finally find ways to love and accept myself, for I am my own priority. If everyone leaves me, I will be the one left. It’s not selfish to love yourself.
- I will make time to take care of myself. I will become my own best friend, because I have one body, one mind, one life. I don’t want to waste it being unhappy and ungrateful.
- I will allow myself to think and dream big. This is my world. Everything is possible.
- I will express myself in (new) creative ways, for this is where I find my happiness and let go of my emotions.
- I will get to know myself better, because I am the only one that’s truly there for me. Friendship is so important, but in the end. there’s only me. Luckily, I am super interesting! (;
- I will take time to do the things that I love doing, for this brings me the happiness I need to survive. I don’t want to waste my life on stuff I don’t love.
- I will acknowledge the positive side of my disorder, because this is how I will learn to love myself. I have to learn to live with something I will never live without.
- I will be happy. Because no one else gets to decide how I feel. I am the one who makes myself happy. It’s not someone else’s responsibility.
These were the most important resolutions. They will be my theme for the rest of 2019. These will be my goals, and I will achieve them.